Finally back to the "bad stuff" list. I have been dwelling and thinking about Mother's Day which will be here in 3 days, but I also had a bit of time to write on "using everything," even the less than flattering things in my life in hopes that something I say could reach one person who can find another voice out there who is going through the same thing as them. I appreciate all of your time in reading the Acorns In My Dryer Blog...be blessed today!
I have a 2-3 year attention span for a job before it gets boring, unfulfilling, or unchallenging to me...
Well, it is true that I cannot do the same thing very long before I get distracted, bored, unfulfilled, or unchallenged; I do not thrive doing the same thing over and over and over again. I get bored easily, and I enjoy change VERY much! Career wise, I taught first in Independence for 2 years right after I finished college. After that, I worked at a teacher's supply store for a little over 3 years; I LOVED that actually...but the store didn't make any money. After selling our beautiful sports car and depleting our savings to pay the store bills off, I worked at a preschool for 2 years. After that, I went back to teaching full time with every intention of sticking with it for good....but, 3 months after I signed my contract to teach in Blue Springs, I had a very big surprise....a positive pregnancy test. I stayed in the teaching game for (you guessed it) 2 years. My young daughter had numerous health problems, so "staying home" with her was partly because I needed to. I helped at church as an interim children's minister for 10 months, but after "staying home" for 2 years (minus the children's minister work)...I went back to teaching. After 2 years of teaching 5th grade, my youngest was ready to go to kindergarten. Because she had a severe speech delay, we sent her to a different school than the other 2 girls, and I wanted to be available to volunteer and be present at her school too. (I taught where my other girls went to school.) My friend, April, said to me, "please just stay somewhere more than 2 years so you'll break your pattern." That got me thinking...if other people noticed my "attention span" or "pattern" or whatever you wanted to call it.....should I do something to change? I stayed at the same school but moved to teach part time which worked for us; I taught T-F and had Mondays off. The next year, my oldest daughter went to a different school, and her high school got out much earlier than us, so I went to even less time as a teacher. This year, I am only teaching until 4th hour at school; I teach 7th grade Bible, and it is my DREAM job!!!! I have not loved any other job more...ever!
Do I have a problem sticking with something, or do my life's circumstances dictate my career pattern? I can have a different answer to that question each day. What I do know is that I have been where I am supposed to be each year; there are specific children who I can say for sure have impacted me and vice-versa. I am okay to take life one year at a time or one day at a time. That used to stress me out a little, the not knowing or the "limbo" of changing directions frequently. Yet, every time, I can SEE the "WHY" during or shortly after a change.
I will change again....actually next year. :) I am going back to school to get a counseling masters degree to do another job that my life has led me to: counseling/therapy. I just want to help kids, and helping them academically is just a stepping stone to what is in store. While I go to school...I plan to either substitute teach or watch a couple of kiddos at my house during the daytime while playing and learning with them! Will I change in 2 years, probably....but, I will seek to always do what I am supposed to do.
Funny, I used to say that the perfect job for me would be a writer because every 1-2 years you were expected to "change" and move on to write another novel, research different settings and topics, etc.......so, maybe someday....
I know the pain of losing people I love, losing them to death or desertion...
This one is hard to "use" even though truthfully, everyone goes through this....everyone! I was fortunate to have 3 of my 4 grandparents around for most of my life and my 2 grandmas until just the last 2 years. My parents are still living, but I have aunts and uncles who have passed on. Death is so final in the realm of the physical earth we live in, so it is difficult for loved ones left behind to move on in a way that doesn't leave them feeling guilty every time they laugh, smile, or have fun. We do not usually have the outward signs of a mourning period anymore in this country (time of isolation, mournful clothing, etc.), but it might be healthier if we did. We might give ourselves permission and TIME to mope around and feel sad openly instead of trying to hide our pain and go about our lives as if we are so STRONG. It is like we have to prove that we are mentally stable by getting back to work or taking our kids to soccer practice as soon as possible.
I have not been left by a spouse or had a parent turn their back on me, but I have seen people who are close to me have had this happen to them. The closest I have been to someone who left a relationship was probably my brother-in-law when he and my sister separated. That was hard because I really liked him and loved him as part of our family; my kids were really close to him. Somehow, it is harder to explain to my daughters how someone who is still alive will not longer be part of their lives. If he had passed on, then there would've been some sort of closure...my middle child did not understand this. She saw her relationship with her uncle as completely separate from the relationship he had with my sister; in my daughter's mind...her aunt and uncle could separate, but she was going to choose to still have him as an uncle. SO hard...
How do we use this pain from losing people? Well, if we know everyone goes through either the pain of losing someone through death or desertion, we need to share our stories with others so that when they are in pain from losing someone dear to them, they do not feel so alone in their pain. Sharing pain will lessen it, and listening to someone share a story of loss can inspire others to go on living. Also, spread the word that it is OKAY to take TIME to mourn losses.
Remember to USE EVERYTHING, even your "bad stuff"......
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